I have the most original idea for a movie...

Okay, here we go.
An expedition of scientists goes into the bowels of the jungle in search of... okay we’ll come back to that later. Stay with me guys, stay with me.
Anyway, they have to charter a boat with a rough, mysterious, American captain and a first mate of local dissent. Then we’ll throw in some hot women and token black guys, all of which are the top scientists / analysts in their given fields. Now what can we use as an antagonist? Hmmm ... oh yes! An Anaconda! Brilliant, fresh! Why has no one done this before?
I like to think that the following is somewhat of the thought process for the first Anaconda movie starring Jennifer Lopez and Jon Voigt. But I have the sneaking suspicion that this was also the thought process of the more recent Anaconda film starring a plethora of B and C rate actors. My question is simply this, “are you kidding me?” IT IS EXACTLY LIKE THE FIRST ONE! THEY USED THE SAME FREAKING WARDROBE!
Has anyone else seen this piece of crap? Let me answer for you; “no,” because you knew it would suck. How much variation could you possibly put on a story about a giant snake in the jungle? What could possibly be changed to make this story any different than the first other than new faces? Let's just pray that neither of the female heroines go onto the success J-Lo has found after doing her tango with the giant snake. I don’t think I even know one person who would be capable of seeing that preview and go, “WOW, that looks AMAZING!” So last night I watched this crapterpiece with some-a my boys and we slayed it. It was choice. But as I embarked on this adventure in Borneo in search of the Blood Orchid a.k.a. proverbial fountain of youth, I thought, has my life come to this? Am I so cynical that I purposefully watch bad movies just to make fun of them? What kind of person does that? What deep inner angst or struggle am I masking by cutting down people I don’t know just to get a laugh?
And then we discovered the boat wasn’t working anymore because there was too much water on the river. Wow.
Well folks the truth is I am a cynical person. My life has gotten to the point where I take boundless enjoyment in the mockery of bad movies. What kind of person does that make me? I don’t care... I just don’t care. Whatever inner struggles or angst I’m masking I hope they never surface. The amount of joy I get when my team can pull it together and come up with the perfect line and the perfect moment, no one could be prouder.