Anger. To be honest, I've never really felt it before. Everyone time I've felt the slightest inclination to let a swell of furious rage loose from within, there's always been some 'level-headed' onlooker to call me back to that bitter sweet rationale. Even when I find myself alone, I can never allow a full fledged fit of anger to come into complete fruition. Is it because I'm a good person? No. Is it because I know better? Nope. I realize today it is because I am a fearful person. Someone who anticipates the worst, structures herself upon what the world dictates her deporment should be and screams in silence while the gates closes faster and faster.
I seem to be consistently surrounded by people who have no remorse in expressing what they feel, when they feel it. Truthfully, it can drudge up chords of resentment and bitterness within me that challenges my very ability to breathe... but why? Well, perhaps it's just because there will ALWAYS be something to complain about. The human psyche can create a barren, hell-scorched wasteland out of any luscious, bountiful valley. If I were so disposed, I guarantee I could give anyone a run for their money in the pissing and moaning department. But what good does it do? All it really does is birth and nurture aversion.
Attitude. Faith. Hope. Without sincerity in any of these things, life becomes more and more about merely surviving than experiencing. Life can really suck, and guess what... everybody knows that. More importantly, you're life does not suck. Sorry to be the one to tell you that, but it's the truth. Stages of life will gravitate us to poles of prosperity and poles of grief and despair; no matter where you are, there are a million people worse off than you and a million people better off. The trick: don't compare yourself to anyone but yourself. Don't immitate or worship imperfect measures. Keep your focus fixed on what really matters to you and how you can use this day to take one more step to realizing the 'who' you want to be.