Friday, January 13, 2006

I remember her...she was the one with glasses who quoted SNL all the time, what ever happened to her?

I apologize for my recent break from the social scene, friends. The truth is I don’t know how much fun I would actually be to be around. All I do is stress and worry about mission prep. I’m trying to watch what I watch and listen to, so I virtually have lost anything to talk about and I’m getting more into a church mindset, so my sense of humor is of a pious nature. I’m bland…bland as bland can be. But for those of you, who remember the colorful days, please call me, and don’t give up on me. Maybe I am boring, but I’m people dang it! People who used to be fun!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

That would make a good movie...

Ariel Sharon suffered a “massive stroke” last Wednesday and has been in critical, then stable, then progressive, then stable condition for over a week. Now they’re saying that it will be months before he recovers. I don’t consider myself a conspiracy theorist, although there are a few things I don’t buy into which I cannot talk about at this time, lest the Cubans trace me from this blog. But I do not think that a man in the physical state as was Ariel Sharon would be able to sustain a “massive” anything, unless it was a “massive sandwich.” Have you seen this guy? Let’s just say this guy doesn’t have tailor made suits because he’s got money.
My theory… Mr. Sharon has passed on to the great gig in the sky. Maybe he can play bass.
But this fact would present a problem. You see there was an agreement between Israeli and Palestinian leaders made about a year ago, in which both sides agreed to a sort of one year truce. This spawned the expulsion of thousands of Israeli’s in villages along the Gaza strip, a movement spearheaded by Mr. Sharon in an effort to give recompense. Needless to say this was an astonishingly emotional time, Israeli soldiers evicting somewhat less than compliant Israeli people. Needless to say our Mr. Sharon wasn’t the most popular man in some circles.
This one year truce has not been renewed and everyone seems to be walking on egg shells about it. Now that Sharon may be dead, the heat lamp has been turned onto this year long hiatus burger.
If Sharon is alive, there may be a better chance of prolonging the peace, says I. If he’s gone, the ensuing commotion and efforts to reorganize won’t be pretty.
Wouldn’t this whole situation make an amazing movie? Not the really political parts, but the rest of it. But instead of the leader just being dead, the government tries to cover it up by finding a look-a-like to preside in his stead. SNAP. I think I’m on to something here. He’d look just like him, but he’d be softer, more down to earth and funnier and be able to do some real good. And then when it was time to reveal the death of the leader, they’d stage a public appearance where the replacement could pretend to have another attack and BOOM...there’s your movie.
It has the potential to be flawless, “He’s lost a considerable amount of weight with the stroke”...or “His memory and voice have been tragically altered since the stroke”... or “He developed birthmarks and scars in random places because of the stroke.” Every hurdle could be jumped. Genius.

Wow, who can I pitch this too?

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

It's Back...
Back in the Saddle Again...

I'm sad to report our return to country music in the office. It's funny because now to me, Lite 96 and Country 105 are virtually on par with matching craptacular-ness. I just train my ears to listen to the voices inside my head telling me reassuringly, "someday...someday you'll be people again, and not just people - good people." Thank-you voices, that means a lot to me.
Last night we met at our bishop's house and made Valentine's Day cards for kids in the Children's Hospital. All in all a very successful night except for the moral-ethical setback I suffered. I made this WICKED Valentine's Day card with an R2-D2 sticker on it, and in true girl letters (you know the ones with the dots at the end of every line - femilicious) I wrote "R2 Chooses You!" Sadly I was overcome by my genious, like Van Gogh or Charles Rocket, but instead of suicide - I took my card, depriving some child of a Valentine. Is it sick...yes, yes it is. But I couldn't bare the thought of some kid saying, "A Star Wars Valentine...gay!" and throwing it lackadaisically across the floor.
So I will entrust the card to someone to send it to me in one years time. Or perhaps I will meet the C3P0 to my R2 in the next 4 weeks and give the card away. Le Sigh.