The Public Shall Decide My Resolutions for Me

I came into work this morning with a refreshed sense of purpose. I pulled out victorious after a near "losing of the keys" yesterday - it ended up that they were on my desk at home; I'm a goon. I went up to the mountains with some of my favorite people which was wonderful- despite a pretty brutal headache and inevitable crankiness on my part (sorry guys). Then I had a fabulous heart to heart with my dear Pavana about the mysteries of life (aka guys)- what will I do without you Pavana?
I was filled with a sense of everything 'comin' up Cindy' as I drove to work this morning. This was going to be a great day, thought I, really fantastic. As I walked into my office I held my head high, determined to stay positive and find work to do. I was then greeted by "Cindy, can you do me a favor? Can you go buy me some Slim Fast?"
Now some people may not have a problem being paid to do whatever they're asked to do - however ridiculous and un-work-related - without question or refusal, I'm not people like that. But sure enough I painted a compliant smile upon my face and off I went.
Now the purchase of SlimFast is a delicate thing, as I have discovered on past errands to retrieve the supplement for "work purposes". Especially when you truly are not buying it for yourself and you've been asked to pick up the chocolate flavor- does anyone else find this redundant? The goal or objective is to purchase it with the least amount of attention. It's a sensitive thing, no one will believe you that it isn't for you, so you just try to get it over with as fast as you can - like a bandaid, RIGHT OFF! So I find it, after roaming the mean aisles of Safeway, and I realize that I will need to employ a portion of my cunning...no, no... all my cunning in order to purchase said product with the least amount of audience as I can muster. I pick up said product and move as quickly and seamlessly to the front as was possible. Now the scoping of the checkouts, avoiding any 'Y' chromosomes. I spotted a sweet-looking middle aged woman and she became my target. Unfortunately a really hot guy was going through, I mean Cindy's kind of hot so the rest of you would have been fine, but I wouldn't risk the awkwardness so I went to check out cereal for a minute or two. I waited for the coast to be clear and I deployed. Mission accomplished... or so I thought.
It was in the bag...literally, when I hear "SlimFast, that's not for you is it?" from a Dungeons and Dragons type guy standing behind me. "No," I said "it's for my boss." "Okay," he said "cause I was gonna say..." Creeped right out of my tree I said "thank-you." FALL BACK, FALL BACK, FALL BACK. My mission had failed, I was intercepted and consequently unsuccessful in avoiding any attention to the purchase of this product...but the best was what came next.
My ally, the one on whom I relied on for sympathy and understanding, the one with whom I had chosen to come into combat with me- the checkout lady, Su. As I mustered up what dignity I had left, Su handed me my bag and said..."Good Luck." GOOD LUCK!!! Et Tu, Su? Et Tu?
What the CRAPMOFREAKY?! Su, Su... why? Why would you do this to me? I trusted you, I thought you above all the other cashiers would understand and sympathize my situation. Not discredit me in front of a creepy computer junky whose diet probably consists of a steady flow of corn chips, Dr. Pepper and porn. So there I stood, battered, betrayed, humiliated and conquered. As I walked out of the Safeway I was overcome by the overall hilarity of what had just happened that I laughed out loud to myself, and who was there to see me but the hot guy whom I had originally tried to aviod. So now I could add crazy to my portfolio of qualities I exuded to these people.
I didn't feel too bad though, I think my hot guy was homeless. He was sitting outside on the ground outside the building eating a banana he had just bought. Way to go Cindy.
So apparently my New Years resolution is to lose weight, or so Su has decided.