Dreams. The excitement to create, witness, experience or complete something beyond our immediate grasp or capacity, but the pursuit of which keeps us wading through the sometimes endless wake of confusion and opposition. I've never really ever understood anybody that only had one dream. As all-encompassing as it may be - i.e. get married, have a family and be happy - I've always been left a little dumbfounded at those that carry only the dreams handed to them by tradition or custom, and were satiated in doing so. Not to disparage or negate said dream, on the contrary I've come to realize those who carry it are far more wise and live lives far less wrought with hollow pursuits and distraction that keeps them from finding the happiness that life has to give them. But it's odd to me when someone has never been so moved by something in their walk through life, that in that moment all other realities seem to pause, and your only reality becomes this dream, or series of dreams. The belief that your potential, your purpose is tied into them and through them you'll channel a fulfillment that until now you couldn't really have even contemplated.
Suffice it to say, this week I've been thinking alot about dreams. Maybe because tomorrow is my 25th birthday - the marker of when I would be basking in the reality of one of the dreams of my youth. Truly, it's those dreams that have brought me to New York this week. By 25, I was going to be living in New York City and either writing for or performing on Saturday Night Live. Now life happened to me as I assume it has happened to all of you. The unfolding of a different path has brought me somewhere I never really would've imagined - thankfully it's not an unwelcome, or regret-inspiring place, but it is different nonetheless.
My fear is that as we grow up, we tend to turn our backs and betray the person that we were. True, we mature, our tastes, talents and ambitions change and we change right along to cradle them. But part of learning to love this life is learning to love yourself. So don't turn your back on who you were 10, 20 or 30 years ago. Use who you are today to live out what the child within you waited with baited breath for; show yourself the fruition of your dreams even if you think it's not important to you anymore. Teach yourself to believe by being faithful to the hopes you dared to throw out into the void of possibility when you were a little less jaded and a little less weary.
Now opportunity, talent and time, among many other factors, prevent me from realizing my dream of being on SNL at 25; but tonight, on the eve of my 25th birthday, I will be in the audience here in New York City. This I will do to pay homage to the 10 year old whose dreams I can validate and satiate, to show her that I love her and my faith will always be in her.